Pregnancy is a Pain in my....ovary!

So I haven't posted in awhile. I've got stuff that I want to post, but I've just been so damn busy at work, and tired, and sick, and pregnant. Basically, I cannot find a single redeeming quality about pregnancy right now (other than, of course, the actual baby). Here are my chief complaints:

-About two weeks ago, I started having major cramping on my side and thought I was experiencing all of the symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy (where the egg is fertilized outside of the uterus), so I rushed to the doctor, where they do an intra-vaginal ultrasound (completely gross, but hey, I need to vent), and find that I have a "functional" cyst on my ovary. I don't know what the hell function it is serving other than causing me pain, but apparently these things are common and it won't hurt the baby. The only things I can do for the pain are take tylenol (which doesn't help shit) and stay hydrated...as if I'm not pissing enough already.

-I've already gained about 7 pounds. I'm only 9 weeks along. Everyone tells me that I am not supposed to be gaining any weight at all this early, but I can't help it. I'm hungry dammit, and because I am also in the throes of queasiness, I eat what sounds good and what won't make me vomit. I am not proud of the fact that the only things that have sounded good are bad for me--ice cream, cheeseburgers from mcdonalds, fries, fries, and more fries. I've tried to eat healthy stuff, but it has made me sick...therefore I have to wait until it will no longer make me sick. I guess I'm going to be a fat pregnant girl. I keep telling myself that I've only gained weight because I was underweight from squeezing into my wedding dress...yeah, I know, its wishful thinking.

-This "morning" sickness business lasts all day. And night. And afternoon. And...you get the point. I feel like shit all the time. It's this nasty queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Last week, I threw up three days in a row while brushing my teeth before work. I now feel that the true sign of being a woman is throwing up in four inch heels and a power suit.

-The pregnancy "glow" is a myth. My face is greasy as all hell and developing zits all over the place. I am a person who has NEVER had acne. I've always had great skin and now I look like a greasy faced teenager.

-My boobs have quadrupled in size, already. No, guys, this is not a cool thing. As Scott described them, "they look like boulders dropping out of a parachute" when I take off my bra. This is not attractive, nor does it feel good.

-I am a walking gas factory. It comes out both ends. It smells bad. Don't stand close to me.

That's all I can think of right now, but I'm sure more wonderfully fabulous things will come to me. Please, please please tell me that it will get better...and don't say "in nine months."